Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

Be Yourself

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo

What if I told you that you are not broken…that you don’t have something wrong with you, you don’t need to be fixed. You were hurt. Someone hurt you. They need to be fixed. You are injured and will heal if you let yourself. Like a tree that’s faced the harsh winds, you will grow stronger and more resilient. You do not have to be happy all the time. It is ok that you feel the way you do. It is ok if you are not happy in this moment. You aren’t doing life wrong because you don’t have a smile on your face 24-7 and dancing with bliss the whole time. You are a human being with such a beautiful wide range of emotions and feelings. Life is not good and bad, black and white, on or off, for then we would never see the sunsets.

My sadness is now beautiful in a way. It is so powerful of an emotion and one that I have avoided for years. I didn’t want to change or grow because I thought I was coping just fine the way I was going. I didn’t want to feel those other feelings. It was when I started to allow myself to really fully feel these emotions like sadness that I started to grow as a person. By feeling as though I would be punished for not having the proper emotion I was told to have, it made happiness all the more challenging. Happiness culture is bullshit. Happiness is great but so are the other emotions. Life would be boring without them.

I feel sad today. My heart hurts today. I feel it in the core of myself as my chest tightens. I was angry earlier, angry at people, angry at the world and what we’ve let things become. I’m angry for every abused person that is not getting the love and support they need to heal. I’m angry that people aren’t taught how to treat those who are abused but instead call them liars and are taught to not trust them. I’m angry because our society is abusive and abuses those who go through horrific experiences as children and as adults. I’m angry because its not about teaching someone to be empathetic, I’m angry because this is not cultivated as children and on into adulthood. We all know what is right. We all know how to love, nurture and be there for others. Bullshit that people get to play dumb or say its not their problem or get over it. We would if you would let us and many abuse people, if left untreated, not cared about, or loved, can become more injured and commit violence themselves.

Instead of trying to fix people or give advice, let them be themselves. It can be the greatest thing in the world to just be your self with another person and they not act like the world is over.

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