PTSD Episode

My anxiety and insomnia are back again. I’m in another PTSD Episode. This happens and will happen again and again as I move through my life. The duration of the episodes get shorter and recovery time from the episodes grow shorter. I am becoming more resilient by practicing self care and self compassion like my life depends on it. Because it does. I feel more prepared to take care of myself now. Knowing what is happening and having a plan to take care of myself helps me so much during…

Completely Healed Complex PTSD?

I used to think being healed from complex PTSD and child sexual abuse meant that I didn’t have any lasting effects and my symptoms would be completely gone. I was told by many uneducated people to just get over it, move on, let it go, ect. Here’s the thing though: I’m not choosing to hang onto anything. Complex PTSD is not a choice. I can choose to recover but healing from trauma is a long messy process. If I could just choose to be healed, I SO WOULD! You have…

My PTSD Video Diary on Youtube by Sarah Blake

If you have been following this blog but not my PTSD Video Diary on my youtube channel it’s going to look like I disappeared. I have not! I have been going through some tough times but I’m still kicking! I’ve been posting my video diary on youtube and writing in my journal instead of typing into a computer. Writing with a pen and talking seem to work better than typing to express myself lately. Sometimes I’ve been posting daily and sometimes weekly. I’ll go ahead and post the videos here…

Self Care Sleep Routine – PTSD Toolbox

More than 70% of people with PTSD have trouble sleeping. I have had trouble sleeping my whole life. Over time I have developed a self care sleep routine that helps me to get to sleep. Not having enough quality rest makes my life much more difficult in terms of coping with my PTSD symptoms. I wrote down what to do to wind down and then systematically tweaked that list. My Bedtime Routine: At 8pm-9pm the tv and/or computer goes off. (I still post a Gnite pic and look at animals on…

Back in Therapy- Treatment for PTSD

The symptoms of my PTSD have become so intense that I started to spiral down again. Even though I am surviving I do not feel that I am improving at this point. I’ve decided to get back into therapy and had my first appointment on Monday. This was not a regular therapy session but an introduction and an intake session. Basically, I spilled my guts about the multiple traumas my life to a complete stranger in a little room. This is nerve-racking in itself but disclosure of my traumatic events…

4 Youtubers with PTSD

More proof that those of us that struggle with PTSD are not alone. Here are 4 you tubers I found that have PTSD and are making videos talking about their struggles and what has helped them. Watching their videos helps me to better understand myself. If you also suffer with PTSD or want to understand it better, check out these Youtube channels below:   Tanja Windegger – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUqHXLBNoedrsee8P9C93ag Tanja has been healing for many years now and has started her channel to help others like herself. She is very wise and her voice is…

Anxiety and Nausea Caused by PTSD

Well, I had a few good days and crammed in some work so hopefully I can keep paying my bills. The last 2 1/2 years have been a mostly sick me trying to keep up with work and stressing about it on top of dealing with the trauma that caused the PTSD. Yesterday, I experienced crushing sadness and I kept dissociating. Today, I’m experiencing nausea and a headache is threatening to appear. The sadness is still there…and I’m irritable. I am struggling again. I get a brief day or 2…

Unlocking Memories of Trauma- PTSD

Along with that beautiful memory I wrote about before that was much like warm honey I also unlocked another horrific memory yesterday that was the polar opposite. In the past this type of memory would have put me on my ass for a few weeks or even months. I call these new memories because I’m experiencing the memory for the 1st time but I’m remembering something that actually happened. Sounds fucked, I know, and it is. Again, my mind saved my life by locking this away until I was strong…

Pre-Trauma Me-Fight PTSD with LOVE?

Due to PTSD I have memory issues. My mind protected me by locking away memories so that child me could survive. I’m processing a little at a time as new memories of more trauma come through. The bad thing is that there are some days when I can’t remember much of anything about my childhood, good, bad, or otherwise. The whole damn things gets locked up and inaccessible. I can remember different things on different days. It is very frustrating and it could be part of my dissociation making me feel…

Healing from PTSD Toolbox pt2

First, thank you for reading my blog and all the positive responses to my blog post: Healing from PTSD Toolbox pt1  Here is part 2! Low Stress Lifestyle– I used to be a workaholic and I still love being productive but I had to step off the hamster wheel. I also moved to a much quieter and safer neighborhood, closer to family. I moved twice which is really stressful but in a good, moving forward sort of way. I work from home and support myself completely from my endeavors online.  I…