Coping with Peace Instead of Abuse

Around the beginning of September I started to experience a big increase in insomnia, nightmares,  flashbacks, anxiety, and other CPTSD symptoms. I have had some time to think about this increase in symptoms and why the cycle has started up seemingly out of the blue. It’s not out of nowhere though. When you are in the thick of things, it can be difficult to see clearly what is going on. I am coping with less abuse. I didn’t realize that I was putting up with so much until I wasn’t.…

Realizations

I had a realization and its been kind at the forefront of my mind lately. There is a lot of talk about letting go and moving on. As I sit here I realize that with complex PTSD I may never get to that “end point” in healing. That is not very realistic. This isn’t a stubbed toe and one day I will wake up all better and symptom free. I don’t heal as much as I learn. I mean that many people, including myself, think of healing as though one…

Dealing with Uncovered Memories of Abuse

Periodically, I receive what I call new memories. They aren’t new but repressed memories that my brain decided to hold back from me until I was able to handle them. How it decides that I am able to handle more memories of abuse is a bit lost on me but whatever, here I am. Over time and with practice in being self aware I can usually spot the changes in myself to indicate a new memory. Warning signs include insomnia, sadness with no discernable source, feeling off with my skin…

More Life Changes to Help My Healing Journey Along

I’ve been quiet a lot in the past month and that’s because I am making some more big changes in my life. I’ve shared a little on twitter about it. I’ve decided that I need to accept that I can only go so far by myself in my healing journey. I am no longer going to be living alone. This month I am downsizing everything in preparation for my move to upstate NY. This is so challenging to let go of stuff I’ve collected and had for decades! I’m going…

New Vlog Post October 15, 2018

Click here or on the pic above to go to my Patreon account and check out the new video! It’s about 10 minutes. More to come as I get more videos edited. I posted a new vlog this week. I’ve been filming nearly every day to track my progress through my healing journey. Becoming a Patron starts at just $3. I’m still working out how I’m going to be expanding my Patreon. I would love the feedback if you would like to share. Thank you!

Survivor Storytime: I Confronted an Abuser when I was 19 Years old

TW: colorful language, tears, my voice shakes. Although this audio does not describe abuse it still may be triggering for other survivors. Please take care of yourself. If this is too triggering for you then please do not listen and shut it off immediately and do something kind and practice selfcare. Come back to it another time or never at all. Your well being is important. Thank you for reading and for listing. New Sarah Garlits audio diary entry. I tell the story of when I happened upon the man…

Abuse Survivor Vlog Oct 10th 2018

I’ve been being more active on my Patreon account. I’ve been getting support there for a couple years now. Thank you to my supporters! I’m finally feeling up to being able to consistently update it. My blog here too. I’m trying not to overwhelm myself so I’ll be taking things slow. I did update the goals on Patreon and I’m thinking about adding a live stream goal. I have been working my bills around to lower than and in the process I was able to pay over $100 less per…

Take Me with You

A letter to Myself. I have written many of these over the years. The post pic of some of those letters. It scares me sometimes because all the selves in my start talking at once in my head. It scared me that I was all these selves before. I’m really trying to accept this about myself and love myself. RADICAL ACCEPTANCE! So, here’s a love letter: Dear Sarah, Take me with you when you need strength. Know that someone loves you and hold a safe place for you to be…

Survivor Vlog October 1, 2018

New  PTSD video Diary Teaser You can watch the full pt 1 vlog on my Patreon http://www.patreon.com/SarahGarlits Part 2 posts later this week. 🙂 Where else can you find me? Support my art, writings, survivor blog, youtube channel and more here: http://www.patreon.com/SarahGarlits Social Media: http://www.twitter.com/SarahGarlits –I’m most active and interactive here http://www.facebook.com/sarahgarlitshttp://www.youtube.com/SarahGarlits http://www.youtube.com/SarahGarlits – My channel Blog and contact me: http://www.abusesurvivorblog.com Link to information found in this video: I am not affiliated with this company but wanted to pass the info along to other survivors. Great information and they have…

Breaking Silence – Stages of Healing Sexual Abuse

I first broke my silence about the sexual abuse when I was 10 years old right after I had a flashback during a school assembly about child sexual abuse. The abuse started at 3 years old(I think, I could have been younger) Telling is transformative. I feel like I am no longer keeping the abusers/rapists secrets. I don’t feel shame because I didn’t do anything wrong to cause it. The more I break my silence about the sexual abuse I suffered the more I feel free. I felt like no…