Coping with Peace Instead of Abuse

Around the beginning of September I started to experience a big increase in insomnia, nightmares,  flashbacks, anxiety, and other CPTSD symptoms. I have had some time to think about this increase in symptoms and why the cycle has started up seemingly out of the blue. It’s not out of nowhere though. When you are in the thick of things, it can be difficult to see clearly what is going on. I am coping with less abuse. I didn’t realize that I was putting up with so much until I wasn’t.…

It’s OK to be Angry That Someone Abused You

It’s ok to be angry that someone abused you. I know society likes to tell us all sorts of weird things about angry, forgiveness, about being weak for being angry, ect. I wrote this on twitter but I wanted to share it here too. I’ll be sharing more rants and things like this. I’ll probably make some audio recordings of this to listen to myself. I needed to hear this. I needed to read this. I’m going to come back to this and read it when I need to to…

Abuse Survivor Vlogs Over on My Patreon and an Update on Me

Watercolor cover art for abuse survivor blog

There are new Abuse Survivor Vlogs posted up over at my https://www.patreon.com/sarahgarlits I do share a lot openly on twitter but some things I just want to keep more private now. I am also not sure about their TOS at times and don’t want to get my account limited for blowing off some much needed steam. I’ll be posting that over on my Patreon account for you to view there. Also, when I talk about suicidal ideation I tend to want to keep those more private. They are more difficult…

Understanding It Wasn’t Your Fault – Stages of Healing

One of the stages of healing from childhood sexual abuse, rape, or any abuse for that matter is to understanding that it was not your fault. Someone chose to abuse you. That is on them. There is no shame in love and trust. They are both beautiful things to have in this life. Love and trust did not hurt you. The PERPETRATOR chose to abuse you. It is normal to blame yourself. It can be easier to believe that we are somehow flawed instead of thinking that someone that cares…

Dealing with Uncovered Memories of Abuse

Periodically, I receive what I call new memories. They aren’t new but repressed memories that my brain decided to hold back from me until I was able to handle them. How it decides that I am able to handle more memories of abuse is a bit lost on me but whatever, here I am. Over time and with practice in being self aware I can usually spot the changes in myself to indicate a new memory. Warning signs include insomnia, sadness with no discernable source, feeling off with my skin…

Survivor Vlog October 1, 2018

New  PTSD video Diary Teaser You can watch the full pt 1 vlog on my Patreon http://www.patreon.com/SarahGarlits Part 2 posts later this week. 🙂 Where else can you find me? Support my art, writings, survivor blog, youtube channel and more here: http://www.patreon.com/SarahGarlits Social Media: http://www.twitter.com/SarahGarlits –I’m most active and interactive here http://www.facebook.com/sarahgarlitshttp://www.youtube.com/SarahGarlits http://www.youtube.com/SarahGarlits – My channel Blog and contact me: http://www.abusesurvivorblog.com Link to information found in this video: I am not affiliated with this company but wanted to pass the info along to other survivors. Great information and they have…

Remembering – Stages of Healing

Remembering is another stage in the healing process. When I was 10 years old memories of child sexual abuse that I suffered came back to me during a class assembly. Right there in front of everyone, the memories came crashing in. It roared in my ear and black came in around my peripheral vision. I felt like I was being sucked into the back of my head and everything was going black. I started to fight it but it was no use. All the sudden I was 3 years old…

Stages Of Healing From Sexual Abuse: 1 Deciding to Heal

There are many stages of healing that a survivor of sexual abuse goes through. Not only do we go through these stages but we go through them over and over again, each time getting more integration. There is no real order to them and many times I have felt stuck in one stage or another. I desperately wanted to feel better and “get over it” as they told me I should have already have done. I now know that a complete resolution may not be possible for me but that…

What’s ME and What’s from the Abuse- Free Writing

This might only make sense to me and that’s ok. Free writing is me getting out what is in my head. I’m trying to make sense of myself and my feelings. As always if you read something on my blog that triggers you, please stop reading and take gentle loving care of yourself. Many of my posts are very raw and an expression of my pain. You don’t have to read this if it’s hurting you. Free writing: When I was 10 years old, I remembered some of the sexual…

Coping with Anxiety

Since the weekend I have been dealing with a massive amount of anxiety.  On Saturday I had one of the worst anxiety attacks that I can remember. This was followed by many smaller anxiety attacks as it cycled back down. I would have seen this as a set back but I don’t believe that anymore. It wasn’t a set back because anxiety is part of my life living with Cptsd. As I integrate myself into a more healed and solid individual, there is going to be destabilization. The parts of…