Dealing with Uncovered Memories of Abuse

Periodically, I receive what I call new memories. They aren’t new but repressed memories that my brain decided to hold back from me until I was able to handle them. How it decides that I am able to handle more memories of abuse is a bit lost on me but whatever, here I am. Over time and with practice in being self aware I can usually spot the changes in myself to indicate a new memory. Warning signs include insomnia, sadness with no discernable source, feeling off with my skin…

My Best Effort is Good Enough

I am very strict and hard on myself. I usually feel like I am not doing enough even if I am doing the best I can at the time. Yesterday, I felt worthless and that I wasn’t doing enough for myself to make a living WHILE putting in hours of work and getting a lot done. This goes back to my self-worth and my low opinion of myself. Through research I learned that this attitude towards oneself is common with survivors of abuse and very common with survivors of childhood…

Completely Healed Complex PTSD?

I used to think being healed from complex PTSD and child sexual abuse meant that I didn’t have any lasting effects and my symptoms would be completely gone. I was told by many uneducated people to just get over it, move on, let it go, ect. Here’s the thing though: I’m not choosing to hang onto anything. Complex PTSD is not a choice. I can choose to recover but healing from trauma is a long messy process. If I could just choose to be healed, I SO WOULD! You have…

Self Care Sleep Routine – PTSD Toolbox

More than 70% of people with PTSD have trouble sleeping. I have had trouble sleeping my whole life. Over time I have developed a self care sleep routine that helps me to get to sleep. Not having enough quality rest makes my life much more difficult in terms of coping with my PTSD symptoms. I wrote down what to do to wind down and then systematically tweaked that list. My Bedtime Routine: At 8pm-9pm the tv and/or computer goes off. (I still post a Gnite pic and look at animals on…

New Hope in Healing from Child Abuse

I have made a lot of progress with my healing and I feel myself continuing to heal. No matter the stresses in life, I’m learning to cope in healthier ways. I feel a new hope as I put myself out there more instead of being a hermit and just keeping to myself. I’m not able to go and do ALL THE THINGS I want to. Sometimes, I feel I’m missing out on adventures and experiences but taking care of me means knowing my limits. With increased stress, even good stress,…

Healing from PTSD

  I am currently healing from PTSD and I am in year 2 of dedicated healing. Below are the topics I will be discussing in the video: Insomnia Nightmares Night Terrors Flash Backs Intrusive Thoughts Sadness/Hopelessness/Otherness Anxiety Self Hatred Anger/Hostility Hypervigilance Suicidal Thoughts Disassociation