The stages of healing from abuse posts are my thoughts and feelings about each stage. You can find more information about the stages in the book, “The Courage to Heal” by Ellen Bass. I found it to be very helpful in my healing journey. They also make a workbook.
I recommend reading about and even writing about the stages of healing from abuse at your own pace. Pushing yourself can trigger your PTSD or CPTSD in a major way. I know. I have done this to myself by pushing too hard. I tried to make myself heal faster and it just isn’t going to happen fast. It talks as long as it takes. Be gentle with yourself through this process. It is one day at a time, one action at a time.
Each stage is relevant and important. It is normal for your healing process to skip around and not be streamlined or even in order. The process is often chaotic and you can even go through multiple stages at once. Each brain is unique in it’s experience and healing.
It’s ok to be angry that someone abused you. I know society likes to tell us all sorts of weird things about angry, forgiveness, about being weak for being angry, ect. I wrote this on twitter but I wanted to share it here too. I’ll be sharing more rants and things like this. I’ll probably make some audio recordings of this to listen to myself. I needed to hear this. I needed to read this. I’m going to come back to this and read it when I need to to…
One of the stages of healing from childhood sexual abuse, rape, or any abuse for that matter is to understanding that it was not your fault. Someone chose to abuse you. That is on them. There is no shame in love and trust. They are both beautiful things to have in this life. Love and trust did not hurt you. The PERPETRATOR chose to abuse you. It is normal to blame yourself. It can be easier to believe that we are somehow flawed instead of thinking that someone that cares…
I first broke my silence about the sexual abuse when I was 10 years old right after I had a flashback during a school assembly about child sexual abuse. The abuse started at 3 years old(I think, I could have been younger) Telling is transformative. I feel like I am no longer keeping the abusers/rapists secrets. I don’t feel shame because I didn’t do anything wrong to cause it. The more I break my silence about the sexual abuse I suffered the more I feel free. I felt like no…
It really happened to me. The memories, flashbacks, and nightmares are real. For so long I couldn’t say the words. Now I know that I survived child sexual abuse, attempted murder, partner rape, bullying, attempted suicide, domestic violence, stalking, and more. Denial that these things happened to me served me in some ways to try to move forward in my life…until I couldn’t move anymore. There was no more forward. I had no choice but to start healing myself because continuing to hate myself and not believe my own memory…
Remembering is another stage in the healing process. When I was 10 years old memories of child sexual abuse that I suffered came back to me during a class assembly. Right there in front of everyone, the memories came crashing in. It roared in my ear and black came in around my peripheral vision. I felt like I was being sucked into the back of my head and everything was going black. I started to fight it but it was no use. All the sudden I was 3 years old…
The emergency stage is very disruptive. Memories and long repressed emotions bubble to the surface. Sexual abuse was all I could think about. I had no escape from it. I felt like I had lost my mind. I couldn’t sleep, wasn’t eating well, and wanted to run or hide. The feelings are overwhelming and this is when I started to feel even more suicidal. It felt like it was consuming me from the inside out and I was out of control. New memories that had been locked away came forward.…
