I was diagnosed with PTSD at 11 years old. I wasn’t told much about it at the time other than its what the soldiers have. To my 11 year old brain, this meant I was a soldier and then I thought I was a BADASS(if only for a brief moment). Remembering this makes me smile. I didn’t realise until later how true that was. Living with PTSD is very difficult. The anxiety I feel that comes along with it can be paralysing.
I filmed the above video to show others what a rough day for me looks like. Its a full on bought with my PTSD and I’m able to keep it together for most of the video. I still have issues with expressing myself. I have always felt I needed to hold that back, to protect others, to not inconvenience them with my pain.
I’m also going to medicate myself with french fries which I have heard that medicating oneself with food is a bad idea but its a basic comfort to me and sometimes..it works. I have to do what is working for me to cope with PTSD and if french fried does it, at least I am eating.
I could bore you with a bunch of facts about PTSD but that will be in a later post. Lots of websites have all these fact sheets but the numbers aren’t emotion and doesn’t show you what really happens. The video does. I can tell you that the rate of PTSD is higher amongst women and higher amongst survivors of sexual abuse. I don’t know why this is but I do plan on reading more to find out. I will be updating with things I learn as I go through my journey.