What Happens At Your 1st Psychiatrist Appointment?

For many that are afraid to get help(myself included) I wondered what it was like at the 1st psychiatrist appointment. Anxiety and the stigma kept me away from going for many years. I have recently went for the 1st time again in about 2 years. The 1st time was in Las Vegas to psychiatric nurse practitioner and on Friday I want to psychiatrist MD. Here is what happens. The first thing you do is arrive early to fill out paperwork. This can vary in my experience with the amount of…

Trained Victim

I found this piece that I wrote back in 2009. This was before I had a blog or really told anyone that I was abused outside of my close friends and family. I was having a difficult time. Writing has always helped to get my feelings out when I would allow myself. This writing is an example of how I used to view myself. I hated myself and was disgusted with me most of the time despite how others viewed me or saw my life. Trigger warning: Contents of this…

The Mistake

I’ve been The Nothing lately. There have been brief periods of flashbacks and memories. Mostly, I’m blank or angry(memories of the alters bleeding through?) with my ANP(apparently normal part)/Host??? working away doing things to care for myself. I lost touch with my other selves or the traumatic amnesia is back. It’s very confusing. There is not much contact aside from the funny one. I think I made a big mistake…and I am pretty sad about it if this is the case. I wrote about it my in my private diary.…

Coping with Peace Instead of Abuse

Around the beginning of September I started to experience a big increase in insomnia, nightmares,  flashbacks, anxiety, and other CPTSD symptoms. I have had some time to think about this increase in symptoms and why the cycle has started up seemingly out of the blue. It’s not out of nowhere though. When you are in the thick of things, it can be difficult to see clearly what is going on. I am coping with less abuse. I didn’t realize that I was putting up with so much until I wasn’t.…

It’s OK to be Angry That Someone Abused You

It’s ok to be angry that someone abused you. I know society likes to tell us all sorts of weird things about angry, forgiveness, about being weak for being angry, ect. I wrote this on twitter but I wanted to share it here too. I’ll be sharing more rants and things like this. I’ll probably make some audio recordings of this to listen to myself. I needed to hear this. I needed to read this. I’m going to come back to this and read it when I need to to…

The Stairs

TRIGGER WARNING: This post has details of child abuse and marital rape. I have imagery I drew to express what I remember as part of art therapy. Please skip this entry if you feel like this might trigger your as a survivor or it may be too difficult and painful to read as a supporter. Practice good selfcare techniques and be good to yourself. This entry is my personal memories of abuse that comes to me in flashes and beats against my head until I express it or address it…

Poll Results!

Poll Results for content on abuse survivor blog

POLL RESULTS!   I also wanted to let you know about the poll results from last week! 31 people voted(Thank you!) and here are the results below: My future plans include creating content with this poll in mind. About half of the votes were people wanting to continue to read my story and my healing journey. Awesome! I will definitely keep doing that. I will continue to create blog posts, audios, videos, and artwork including paintings, drawing, and sculpture. I know many of you have inquired about buying some of…

Abuse Survivor Blog New Vlog Today October 3, 2019

New Abuse Survivor Blog Vlog posted today on youtube and a longer more detailed vlog is posting up on my Patreon.com/sarahgarlits The youtube video is a quick update. The Patreon video is a more detailed video of how I am doing. It is about 10 minutes long. -Click HERE to watch the longer Vlog

Abuse Survivor Vlogs Over on My Patreon and an Update on Me

Watercolor cover art for abuse survivor blog

There are new Abuse Survivor Vlogs posted up over at my https://www.patreon.com/sarahgarlits I do share a lot openly on twitter but some things I just want to keep more private now. I am also not sure about their TOS at times and don’t want to get my account limited for blowing off some much needed steam. I’ll be posting that over on my Patreon account for you to view there. Also, when I talk about suicidal ideation I tend to want to keep those more private. They are more difficult…

New Abuse Survivor Blog Video Diary Sept 25th, 2019

New Abuse Survivor Blog video diary for today. I haven’t done one of these in a long time. I take you with me for a little walk in the woods near my house. Walking in nature really helps me to relax. Plus, I get to see all the cool trees and huge rocks on the property. I tell you about my new job and the other changes going on in my life right now. Some sad news too but I try to keep things as upbeat as possible. I even…